No Motivation

I have had a serious lack of motivation lately. I just question everything I do and it all feels pointless. I'm sure this sounds like some stupid kid talking, and maybe it is. It's so difficult for me to just sit down and concentrate. I feel like I'm more fit for an artistic avenue than anything else, but how can I even go THAT far if I don't sit down and get to stuff? I am so sick of school, but I feel like in a few months, I'll be really wanting to go back. I just have to keep that in mind. I feel like there's so much I have to do before the end of this semester, I told Jasmine that if she heard a gunshot in the middle of the night, it's because my brains are on the wall.

I might think I'm pretty smart, but I have an exponential amount of respect for people who can go to school and stick with it. My friend, Josh, is about to graduate with a bachelors in Math and another in Programming. That's just incredible to me. I'm not sure why I can't study or take any of this stuff too seriously. At the same time, my GPA isn't too bad, but I feel a lot of times like creative classes are all-to-easy to pass when I read some fellow students writing. Not to say that mine's great, but I'm not trying to get my masters or anything.

All this feels like me trying to justify to myself why I should quit school again. The thing is, I really do felt like I learned a lot this semester, but I wonder if the knowledge was worth 4K. Maybe one could argue that knowledge is priceless. I definitely wouldn't want to give it back. I keep feeling like I'm either too immature still for college, or if I just wasn't cut out for it. It's so stressful. I think if I took it less seriously, I wouldn't be so badly off. I just feel like if I get an "F" in any class, despite my lack of desire to finish a degree, it would just prove that I'm not good enough for college instead of the other way around.

Blah.